Fighting over serious issues is normal, but bickering can cramp your sex life, says Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D., author of Great Sex for Moms. Unless compromise is easy, "it's often better to put minor disputes aside," she says. "You shouldn't talk over everything endlessly." In our survey, the most trivial quarrels were about the house. Avoid them by playing to each other's strengths. Then divvy up the decisions accordingly.
If tantrums and diapers are polluting your passion, ditch the kids (for a night). "It's all about creating opportunity," Dr. Raskin says. "Spontaneity is enviable, but planned sex can be great, too." Particular-ly if you're not getting enough. You know that couple next door? They're probably in a similar situation, so propose a kid swap. You take theirs on Friday, they take yours on Saturday. If the neighbors are freaks, go home when the kids aren't: lunchtime. Nearly 40 percent of women would be willing to get busy at noon.
Here's a disturbing set of statistics: Italian researchers found that having a TV in the bedroom halves your sex tally, yet 64 percent of couples keep a set in the boudoir. "Getting it on is about putting the brain and body in a passionate state--TV does the opposite," says Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions of a Naughty Mommy. Can't quit? Buy a DVR and watch your favorite shows on weekends.
Sixty-hour workweeks plus social plans can leave her too tired to tangle. But pumping up the passion at the beginning of your week sets the tone for days to come. Go to the gym together on Monday or Tuesday: Studies show both sexes experience a surge of libido-boosting testosterone 30 minutes after a workout. Shower and then hit the bedroom. "It'll zap stress and the sexual momentum will last through the weekend," says Michael Breus, Ph.D., author of Good Night.
Hoovering down a romantic dinner can backfire. Share an entrée to eat less, and spark a passionate interaction, says Bunny Crumpacker, author of The Sex Life of Food. "Choosing a meal together and sharing the dish can boost your sense of cooperation," she says. Your best bet: Whip up a dish at home--66 percent of the women we surveyed said they'd be more likely to have sex after a home-cooked meal.
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