Achieving Orgasm: Getting the Most out of it
Sex with the right partner can be wonderful, pleasurable and satisfying. When two people physically connect, sex can be liberating and the orgasm powerful. However, many people report having difficulty in achieving orgasm and when they do, it is sometimes disappointing. Others say that it is not always possible for them to achieve orgasm. An orgasm does not have to be an elusive thing. There are ways to experience a powerful orgasm - it just takes a little practice and a few helpful tips.
Don’t focus too hard on it. When your mind becomes fixated on the goal of achieving orgasm, your chances of actually reaching this peak diminish significantly. Sex is a wonderful activity that you should enjoy free of inhibitions and nagging thoughts. Instead, focus on your partner and how his/her body connects with your own. You want your mind to become attuned to the sensations and movements of your bodies. Your goal is to react instinctively and not plan anything. Stay in this state of action and reaction and revel in the feeling of two bodies moving in unison. The more you are able to let go and simply enjoy the act, the better the sex will be.
If you are struggling with achieving a powerful orgasm, it may be because your foreplay is lacking. Sometimes in the excitement leading up to sex, there is a tendency to reduce the time spent on foreplay or to skip it altogether. Unless there are serious time constraints, foreplay should never be skipped. In fact, good foreplay can lead to more powerful feelings of pleasure and better your orgasm. Here is a tip: if you are able to slightly tease each other and come close to orgasm without actually achieving one, your final orgasmic moment will be spectacular. Teasing one another in the bedroom is playful and fun and creates a sexual build up that powerfully culminates in your final orgasm!
Sometimes the best way to learn how to have a better orgasm is to practice on your own. This will involve taking the time to get to know your body and what sensations you find most pleasurable. To do this, women may find that using a vibrator is helpful. A vibrator is a way of heightening your self-pleasure in a no pressure environment. There are no set techniques to utilize a vibrator; the emphasis is on what feels good for you. The more you are able to achieve orgasm by yourself, the better able you will be to recognize the signs of pleasure. For men, instead of using a vibrator, simply changing your way of masturbating can help you to achieve a more powerful orgasm. When pleasuring your self, focus less on quickly finishing the task and instead, draw out the sensations. An orgasm becomes more powerful when there is not a dash to the finish line. Learn to take your time and enjoy the feeling.
Sex is supposed to be fun. If you find you are not having fun and are constantly worried about whether or not you will achieve orgasm, you are quite simply going about things in the wrong way. Let your thoughts go, take more time, and focus on the wonderful feeling between the two of you. Achieving orgasm is not out of reach!
Achieving Orgasm: Getting the Most out of it
Truths About Masturbation
No matter what any adult told us about masturbating, it's a fact that 94% of teenage boys masturbate (the other 6% were probably lying).
And what about adult men like yourselves? Well, it's always hard to establish definitive truths in any survey on sexuality and sexual behavior since they are highly influenced by what people imagine is normal, but one thing seems likely: the vast majority of men masturbate at some point in their life and many men do it on a regular basis.
why should we?
In 1994, Dr. Jocelyn Elders actually lost her job as the US surgeon-general because she stated that masturbation should actually be taught to boys. Although she lost her job for it, Elders made a very good point. Teaching lads how to masturbate can actually be quite beneficial in their lives.
Playing with your weasel can help you learn how to control and delay your responsiveness so that pleasure is heightened for both you and your partner when you finally do reach orgasm. Also, for some men, it is the foundation for learning advanced sexual techniques like becoming multi-orgasmic (although this one is quite a rarity among men).
but wait, there's more!
Besides the fact that it can actually help you with women, it also feels pretty darn good and pleasurable. Ah yes, pure self-gratification; you don't have to worry about anyone getting off but yourself.
In addition to feeling so delightful, masturbating relieves sexual tension that builds up naturally over time (have you ever seen There's Something About Mary ?). Nearly every living, breathing male gets horny, at which time his mind becomes overly preoccupied with erotic (or even perverse) thoughts.
This is a very normal process: your sex organs produce and accumulate semen, and your body responds accordingly by making you want to release the ejaculate in order to make room for more (what a wonderful cycle, huh?).
can i die from it?
Even today, some men still think that there are some major repercussions that follow masturbation. So let me say this once and for all: Masturbation is completely safe. It doesn't affect the size of your penis, or even your ability to get an erection or have children. Instead, it's a great way to perfect your sexual technique (penis control) when you're ready for it. Actually, masturbating before engaging in sex with your partner can help you last longer.
Like I mentioned at the start of the article, it was commonly believed, once upon a time, that masturbation caused blindness, insanity, hairy palms, or other weird ailments. All of these terrible beliefs have obviously been disproved through modern science (not common sense, mind you.) Imagine if the folklore was true... just about every man in the world would be roaming the streets blind as a bat, with hairy hands and an uncontrollable twitch.
why hide it?
If you are a masturbator, don't hide it; but don't post a sign on your forehead either. If your girlfriend asks you whether you choke the chicken or not, admit it. As long as you don't give off the impression that you're thinking of other women at the time, she'll be cool with it. You can even incorporate masturbation into your sexual sessions if you like.
There's nothing a woman loves more than when you tell her that you were thinking about her so intensely that you just had to play with yourself. Most women I've conversed with have admitted that one of their greatest fantasies would be to catch their boyfriends masturbating and then complete the task for them.
how much is too much?
I'm sure that all guys, when they first discovered it, were masturbating more often than they were urinating. It's not surprising that some guys still think that they may be doing it too often. The problems that can occur though, have more to do with the psychological aspect of it all rather than the physical.
Men who masturbate chronically may be doing so because they are uncomfortable with their bodies (self-conscious, insecure); they don't like women and can't face up to it; or they may simply have an unusually high sex drive.
If your masturbating gets in the way of your daily activities, then perhaps it's time to cut back on the pocket pool. And if you begin to prefer masturbating over having sex with your girlfriend, or any woman for that matter, then you need to stop and ask yourself why.
where can i play?
There are no rules to where, when or how to masturbate, but there are some popular ones that I'm sure a lot of men would be interested in. First off, you can play "solitaire" wherever you please, but you are much better off if you're in a place where you can take your time and satisfy yourself at your own pace.
On the other hand, some guys like the fact that someone might catch them in the act and prefer to play in the bathroom at work or in their bedroom with the door slightly ajar. Be careful not to masturbate in public locations because you may be considered a pervert, or worse yet, you could get arrested for lewd and indecent behavior.
This question depends on your preference. Do you prefer a jump-start to your morning, or would you rather release a load in order to get a good night's sleep? Perhaps you choose to shed a whole new light on the term "coffee break". Whatever gets your rocks off, go for it.
positions
I'm pretty sure that most guys are already quite in tune with the how-to aspect of masturbation, so I'm going to suggest some positions you may want to try.
First off, some guys like to masturbate by lying on their stomach and rubbing their penis against the bed. A more common technique involves lying on your back or leaning against the wall and rubbing your penis with your hand(s).
For you crazy guys out there, why not buy a whole, warm apple-pie and slowly insert... oh yeah, that's already been done!
techniques
Let's move on to the most common ways that men are intimate with themselves.
Fist Technique
In this widespread technique, you simply wrap your hand around the shaft of your penis and rub it up and down at your own pace. This technique is great for guys who have big penises; if it isn't that much longer than your fist is width-wise, then you probably won't be able to stroke it very far, so another grip might be more effective.
Backhand The Sucker
This basically consists of inverting the "fist technique". Although it's not as common among guys, it feels very good nevertheless. Whichever hand you use, grab your penis from the left side rather than the right if you're right-handed and vice-versa if you use your left. Rotate your wrist so that your thumb is pointing down; you might have to pull your penis slightly to the side.
Five Fingers Of Fun
Let your hand and arm form an angle with your penis, with four fingers on top of the shaft at a diagonal and your thumb below. This allows you to get more control over the hand-to-penis contact and lets you maneuver your hand along the entire length of the shaft, no matter what size your penis is.
Three Finger Frolic
This one is good for gentlemen who aren't as well hung. All you have to do is hold your penis as though you're holding a pencil. This hold allows for the utmost control and maximum distance of motion from the bottom of the penis to the top, even though it doesn't involve full contact (your whole hand is not covering your penis).
Let Her Hand Do The Job
If you're not alone and you're in the mood for a good hand thrashing without having to do all the work, why not let your lady play with it as she pleases? Or, if you'd like to play a little game, show her how you like to play and ask her if she could mimic it.
She would love to get involved in your private sessions, even if it's only once in a blue moon. So get to work guys, and don't forget, it's always different strokes for different folks!
Cyber Sex: How To Do It
Cyber sex is an alternative kind of sex that couples and singles alike are engaging in. The beauty of cyber sex is that you can remain totally anonymous and have some of the safest sex possible.
So whether you're in a long-distance relationship or you enjoy engaging in sexual fantasy over the Net, cyber sex can offer you a somewhat fulfilling sex life.
where can you find someone?There are plenty of places where you can find eager beavers for cyber sex. They include:
Instant messaging
IRC chat
Online dating services
Chat rooms
Message boards
E-mail
If you already have a partner, you can meet her at an agreed upon destination on the Net or even keep up your cyber sexing throughout the day via e-mail. It's up to you.
how do you do it?When it comes to cyber sex, you may want to invest in a microphone, at the very least. That way, the woman you're getting it on with can hear your excitement and know that she's turning you on. As well, there's nothing more difficult than being incredibly excited and having to type with one hand.
Talk or writeWhether or not you have a microphone, you will need to be creative with your language. Imagination is the key to successful cyber sex. However, the language you use will depend on the other person. Some women want nasty, vulgar language, while others prefer the "we're walking on the beach and you look over my way," kind of lingo. Feel her out before you start engaging in the fantasy talk.
If you don't have a mic, don't type things like "gasp, gasp" or "oh yeah, baby, yeah!" As well, being a good speller helps a lot, especially if the other person is.
Start off by asking what she's wearing, then describe what you look like (if you don't have a camera that allows her to see you, then you can look like whomever you want). Then converse back and forth. Let her start a fantasy, then you continue it, and keep going back and forth until you both end up having sex in the fantasy.
Touch yourselfWhile there really are no rules when it comes to cyber sex, you're better off throwing yourself into the scene and surrendering to the fantasy. You may feel somewhat ridiculous ultimately masturbating to a computer at first, but if you can give in to the situation, then it can be a great experience.
If she can't see you, but you have a mic, breathe heavily on occasion to let her know that you're into the fantasy. Describe what you're doing to yourself, or, if you're engaging in a fantasy, what you're "doing" to her.
no mic, no camIf you don't have a mic or a cam, then, rather than masturbate with one hand and type with the other, rotate. Let her write while you satisfy yourself, and then, after you climax, you do the writing while she gets off.
As well, not having either of these things will likely result in your having a difficult time engaging with someone who does. As well, you should be wary of who you're engaging with, as there are plenty of men who disguise themselves as women on the Net.
Things to keep in mind:
Remain anonymous -- don't reveal any personal information.
Don't make a habit of it -- make an effort to have real relationships with women, away from the Net.
If you surrender yourself to the fantasy, the other person can be anyone you want.
One of the best experiences of my life
Im sure you all know what im talking about!! duh.
Bright Eyes and The Faint were amazing.The theatre was awesome because anywhere u were sitting u saw the stage with a clear shot.Everything was peeerfect.
Me and matt got there late juuuussst a little and we walked up to get in when the very nice lady if i might add noted there couldnt be any cameras... drraaag! so matt said.
"put it in my pants no ones going to check." then i laughed lol.
So we went to put the camera in his pants la la la we got in and the other band was playing which i forgot the name of i think it was audio something but yeah we first wanted to buy the merch.
So we stand in the big crowd and suprisingly got up to the front pretty quick where i bought a green bright eyes tote bag and an awesome aqua colour faint shirt! i didnt buy a bright eyes shirt because they had way bettter ones on the site.
Matt bought a black bright eyes shirt and a cool camo green color fant shirt.
We walked around found some seats and waited for the faint to come out.......
Thhhhhheeen they started to play!! ooooh my gosh it was sooooo amazeing you dont even know. they played WORKED UP SO SEXUAL!!. ah yesss i jumped out of my seat sooo fast. The last song they played was agenda suicide if i remember correctly i was so excited and dancing i might be wrong but im pretty sure... and it was awesome!!! man they fucken killed it!! in a good way.
It toook soooo looong before bright eyes would come out..but they finally did and YES! i shed a few tears....it was just sooo fucking incredible to finally see them live.
Time code was the first song they played and it got me sooo excited. Shit i was soo fucking excited the whole time i dont even remember what they played one after the other!!! all i know is that i got most excited when he played "hit the swich"......."devil in the details"......and !!!!!!!!!!
LOVER I DONT HAVE TO LOVE!! ahhhh what a fucking awesome suprise i tried to srcream soooo loud but couldnt b/c im sick lol. lame.
Yeah i watched every move conor made.....esp his feet. I loved when he danced. but didnt like when he jumped on everything and almost fell! eek!
thought it was cool at the end of easy lucky free the light were going all crazy and he was standing on the drum bass and all you could see was his back but the lights were shineing all around him.....man.
hahah there was one reallly funny part i guess one of the rockys was filmed there and conor asked nate to play the rocky theme song on his violin. it was sooo fucking awesome haha. and we were the last concert in north america theyre going over to europe for a " looong looong time" bummer.
nick zinner was there!! from the yeah yeah yeahs!!!....very nice.
AND! it was sooo fucking cute everytime there was a long guitar solo conor would go up to nick and put his head on his head or get on his knees and put his head on his feet while they were both playing it was one of the hottest things ive ever seen.
I cant even really desribe how i felt when bright eyes was playing.theres no words that could fully describe it only that ive never seen or heard anything like it.
and cant wait to go again. The most funny thing was when we were driveing home anytime a song would come on the radio ide get mad and think " here iam listeinging to this when i just listend to one of the two best bands"
no song was even compareing to them. So matt turned on his ipod and we listend to desapericidos.
Soon i fell asleep on matts lap and i was home. fell in my bed and easilly fell asleep remembering watching bright eyes play.
Building Trust
What is trust?
Trust is:
-
Letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you.
-
Sharing your inner feelings and thoughts with others with the belief that they will not spread them indiscriminately.
-
Placing confidence in others so that they will be supportive and reinforcing of you, even if you let down your "strong'' mask and show your weaknesses.
-
Assuming that others will Publishnot intentionally hurt or abuse you if you should make an error or a mistake.
-
The inner sense of acceptance you have of others with whom you are able to share secrets, knowing they are safe.
-
The sense that things are fine; that nothing can disrupt the bond between you and the other.
-
The ability to let others into your life so that you and they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring, and concern to assist one another in growing and maturing independently.
-
The glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.
-
Opening yourself up to let others in on your background, problems, concerns, and mistakes with the assurance that they will not ostracize you because of these things.
-
The act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open, and honest way.
Why do people have trouble developing trust in others?
People have trouble developing trust if they have:
-
Experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse and/or neglect.
-
Been chronically put down for the way they feel or for what they believe.
-
Been emotionally hurt in the past and are not willing to risk getting hurt in the future.
-
Had problem relationships in the past where they were belittled, misunderstood, or ignored.
-
Experienced the loss of a loved one through death. They can get so caught up in unresolved grief that they are unable to open themselves up to others, fearing they will be left alone again due to death, or, abandonment.
-
Experienced a hostile or bitter divorce, separation, or end of a relationship. They may be unable to believe anyone who opens up to them in a new, committed relationship.
-
Been reared in or have lived in an environment emotionally and/or physically unpredictable and volatile.
-
Experienced a great deal of pain at the hands of another. Even if the other finally recognizes and accepts the responsibility to change such behavior, the person fears that if they let their guard down, the pain and hurt will begin again.
-
Low self-esteem and cannot believe that they are deserving of the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They have problems even trusting the positive, healthy, and reinforcing behavior of another who is sincere.
-
Experienced a great deal of non-provoked victimization in their lives. They are unwilling to trust people, situations, or institutions for fear of being victimized again.
What are some beliefs of people who have problems trusting?
-
I have been hurt too much in the past, and I refuse to be hurt again now or in the future!
-
People are out to get all they can from you, so avoid them to survive!
-
As soon as you let your guard down, you will be stepped on again!
-
No one is to be trusted!
-
You always get hurt by the ones you love!
-
I get no respect from anyone!
-
All men (or women) are dishonest and are never to be trusted!
-
Everyone is out to get me!
-
I am never successful in picking partners, so why try again!
-
As soon as you care and open up to someone, they will always leave you!
-
Marriage is the pits!
-
There is no such thing as a healthy relationship!
-
You can never let your guard down because all hell will break loose!
-
All reformations are short-lived!
-
If I give in and believe you have truly changed, relaxing my defenses, I am most certainly going to be hurt again once you backslide!
-
There is no such thing as change in behavior. It is only manipulation by others to get their way with you!
-
Everyone is out to get as much as they can out of you!
-
There is no such thing as a fair employer, generous company, or supportive work place!
-
It is better to live alone for the rest of my life than to risk being hurt as I was!
-
I will never let you know my true feelings again since, if I do open up, I'm afraid you will use them against me to hurt me!
What behavioral traits do people need in order to develop trust?
People need to develop the following behavior traits, attitudes, and beliefs in order to develop trust:
Hope in the goodness of mankind: Without such hope people can become emotionally stuck, reclusive, and isolated. Hope in goodness is a change based on the willingness to take a risk that all people are not evil, bad, or ill-willed.
Faith in the fairness of life: This faith in fairness is similar to the ``boomerang belief,'' that what you throw out to others will come back to you eventually in life. So if people are fair, honest, or nurturing they will eventually receive similar behavior aimed back at them. Having faith in fairness is an attitude that helps people be open to others and risk being vulnerable. They believe that the person who treats them negatively will eventually ``get it in the end!'' and be punished in someway later in this life or in the next.
Belief in a power greater than yourself: This is the acceptance of a spiritual power with greater strength, wisdom, and knowledge than you; one with a divine plan to include your experience, whatever you will encounter in life. Rather than believing that you are 100% in control of your destiny, belief in this spiritual power enables you to let go of over responsibility, guilt, and anger. This lets you accept God's will in your life and enables you to let go of your distrust and isolation from others. If God is in control of the universe, you can lighten your load and let God do some of the leading in your life. `"Let go and let God,'' can be your motto.
A healing environment: This is the creating of a trust bond with the significant others in your personal life where blaming, accusing, and acrimony do not exist. In the healing mode the participants actively use forgiveness, understanding, and healthy communication to resolve problems and issues. The participants are then willing to forget, to let go, and to release themselves of the past hurts, wounds, and pain, opening themselves to trust one another.
Reduction of a sense of competition: This reducing of competition, jealousy, and defensiveness with significant others in your life is a way to reduce the barriers between you and them. The lowering of these psychological barriers is essential to the movement toward development of mutual trust.
Self-disclosure of negative self-scripts: Your disclosing of your inability to feel good about yourself and your perceived lack of healthy self-esteem are essential in reducing miscommunication or misunderstanding between you and the significant others in your life. This self-disclosure reveals to the others your perspective on obstacles you believe you bring to relationships. This sheds the mask of self-defensiveness and allows the other to know you as you know yourself. It is easier to trust that which is real than that which is unreal or hidden.
Taking a risk to be open to others: This enables you to become a real person to others. It is an essential behavior in trust-building between two people because it is the establishing of the parameters of strengths and weaknesses on which you have to draw as the relationship develops.
Becoming vulnerable: This enables you to be hurt by others who know your weaknesses and strengths. This is an essential step in trust-building between people. It lays the cards on the table in a gamble that in such total self-revelation the others will accept you for who you really are rather than for who they want you to be. In order to get to full self-disclosure you must take the risk to be vulnerable to others. This is an important building block in trust development.
Letting go of fear: Fear restricts your actions with others. Letting go frees you of behavioral constraints that can immobilize your emotional development. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of caring, fear of success, fear of being hurt, fear of the unknown, and fear of intimacy are blocks to the development of trust relationships and can impede relationship growth if not given appropriate attention and remedial action.
Building Confidence
Look At Yourself - Really look at yourself. Stand in front of your mirror and take a good look. This is really hard for a lot of kids to do, but try - it's important. That's your face you're looking at and it's going to be with you for a long time, so it would be really helpful if you would stop worrying so much about it and start liking it. Learning to really look at yourself in the mirror and accepting all the good and not so good things about your face is an important step in feeling more comfortable with you and then, with everyone else.
Practice - It takes practice to stop being so hard on your looks. But, if you look at other people's faces, you will see that no one looks perfect. You may think your favorite singer or actor looks perfect, but everyone's idea of perfect is different. (And people look a lot different under all that stage makeup.)
Your job is to start seeing the beautiful things about you. It takes practice. You might notice that the expression on your face makes a big difference in how you look. The most attractive people have eyes that say "talk to me", not turn away. Can you say "look at me" and "turn away" with your eyes in the mirror? Do you see what a big difference it makes in the way your face looks? The expression in your eyes and on your face mean a lot more than the size of you nose or the color of your skin.
Dress for Comfort - It's important that clothes make you feel physically and emotionally comfortable. Clothes say a great deal about the person who's wearing them. Kids who want to fit in, tend to wear clothes that are similar to what their classmates are wearing. Kids who don't want to fit in (or want to be left alone) wear very different clothes to send people away from them. Parents may make silly comments about how kids all like to dress alike, but don't most of them dress alike too? If you walked into your parent's offices right now, you wouldn't see too many people who are dressed that differently from each other. People of all ages really want to fit in with the group they're hanging out with. That's really okay as long as you don't worry that your jacket didn't cost as much as your friends, or your sneakers are not the most cool ones or your jeans are one inch shorter than your friend's jeans.
Everyone wants to fit in, but it's more than okay (it's actually pretty terrific) to develop your own personal style that you can wear with confidence.
Hygiene/Manners - Okay, now that you've taken a liking to your face and your clothes, let's work on cleaning and manners. The simple fact is that if a kid smells bad and has dirty teeth, other kids and grown-ups won't want to come too close.
Now some kids think their face will melt if water comes too close to them, but it's really not true. Taking a bath or shower every day, or every other day (with soap) and brushing your teeth at least twice a day makes a big difference in every kid's appearance.
Not enough can be said about being polite. Using please and thank you in your conversations with kids and grown-ups says a lot. It says that you respect them. Everyone wants and needs respect.
Chit-Chat
It's those casual conversations in school, or on line with our peers and friends that often become the most awkward moments of the day. Here are some tips for relaxing and improving skills. Remember that almost everyone feels uncomfortable when first starting conversations. Don't think about how scared you are. Just think about what you want to say and then talk...
Conversation Starters on the School Bus:
-
I think I have to take my jacket off. It's so hot on this bus today.
-
If there's a new bus driver, you can say: Wow, a new bus driver, I wonder what happened to our old one.
-
Did you have a lot of homework last night?
-
-
What are you doing this weekend?
-
Does your teacher give homework on the weekends?
-
I'm so tired. I should have gotten more sleep. What time do you go to sleep?
-
-
I take piano lessons after school. Do you take music? (If the answer is no, then ask what the person does like to do after school.)
Conversation Starters on the Lunch Line:
-
Wow, pizza again. I love pizza, do you?
-
Oh no, not macaroni and cheese. It's awful, don't you think? (of course you can substitute your most and least favorites.)
-
What do you like to play at recess? I like to........(fill in what you like to do).
Keeping the conversation going:
Did you ever get into a conversation and after a few sentences no on
e has anything left to say? Here are a few tips on how to get past those first few minutes. -
In order to have an interesting conversation, you have to be an interesting person.
-
-
Stay involved in activities so that you will have something to talk about. If you don't do anything but sit around watching TV or playing video games there's not a whole lot to talk about.
-
Rather than spending a lot of time thinking about how uncomfortable you are, spend the quiet moments during the day thinking about different subjects and how you feel about them. If you're really sure about what you think about different subjects, talking about it becomes much easier. Think about: Do you like your teacher, softball, soccer? Do you like music and what kind? Do you like to read and what are your favorite books and why? Do you prefer Nintendo or Playstation?
-
-
Don't be disappointed if every kid doesn't share your interests. Each of us is different, with different interests. How we learn who we like to be with and who we want to be our friends is by honestly talking about who we are.
-
AND.....during a conversation, don't be afraid to ask more questions. Sometimes kids think asking questions is being nosey. Most people liked to be asked questions about themselves. It shows that other people are interested in them.
-
-
The key to a good conversation is balance. Take turns talking and really listening to what the other person is saying so that you can make a comment or ask a question to keep the conversation going. Remember that talking to other kids should be fun - being ridiculous or silly sometimes is also part of getting to know a new friend.
-
Making Friends
Choosing Friends - Before you make friends, you have to decide who you want to be your friends. Most people like to have friends who like to do the same kinds of things they do. That doesn't mean you have to be exactly like each other, just that you enjoy some of the same things. If you're really into sports, you probably will want friends who enjoy playing many of the same games you do. Likewise, if you love to read books, you will probably enjoy the company of readers. Forming a book club is a great way to get a group of kids together who share your interests. Think about your favorite things to do and try talking to your classmates at lunch or recess about your hobbies. You're bound to find at least one person who's excited about the same things that excite and interest you.
Making Friends - 1. The quickest way to make a friend is to smile. When you smile, people think you are friendly and easy to talk to. It may not be easy at first to smile. But, you can practice in the mirror. When you look at yourself, think if you'd rather talk to your smiling face or your usual face that may look scared or angry. Remember that other people have feelings too and most people will stay away from a scared or angry looking face. 2. One easy way to start a conversation with someone is to say something nice about them. For example, you could comment on a great answer to a teacher's question, good catch at the ball field, pretty shirt, etc...Think about how great you feel when someone says something nice to you. Doesn't it make you want to keep talking to that person? 3. Ask your new friends questions about themselves. Who's their favorite singer, where do they live, who's their teacher, what do they do after school are all good questions to start a conversation.
It's not really nosey to ask questions about people. It's the only way to get to know what they're like. AND, it's the only way they'll know that you are interested in them. 4. Make sure you have something to add to the conversation too. When someone asks you a question, do have an answer for them. If you don't know who your favorite singer is, or what your hobbies are, think about it. There's nothing that will stop a conversation quicker than a shrug for an answer. You can get to know yourself by keeping a journal. 5. Shy kids often have some trouble with complements. When someone says something nice, shykids will often freeze in their tracks and say nothing. This leaves the other person wondering if they said something wrong. The best and easiest reply to a complement is a simple "Thank You". 6. Be a friend. Kids who show an interest in other kids and who are kind and friendly make good friends. Remember, everyone wants to be around people who like to do similar things and people who are nice to them.
Activities - After you've made some friends that share the same interests, it's always fun to plan activities together that you'll both enjoy. Inviting a friend over to your house after school is a great way to make your friendship closer. If you know a game your friend likes to play, you can plan to do that together. If you and your friend like to play outside, think of some things you have around the house that you can organize to do outside. Make sure the activities can be done together. You may both love playing computer games, but this is activity best done alone or with a friend you've known for a really long time. When you play a computer game, one person is always left sitting with nothing to do but watch. Not fun.
Being a Good Citizen
2 When you are a citizen you have rights. Rights are special privileges the government gives you. In our country, you have free speech. You are also given the right to choose a religion. In America, the press is free to tell you what is happening in the world. The Bill of Rights lists the freedoms given to citizens. These rights are very important. Many people in the world do not have freedoms like we do.
3 Because the government gives us rights, we have the duty to be good citizens. But, what does it mean to be a good citizen? How can you be a part of giving back for the freedom you have?
Flirting Tips
Flirting Tips
Women are so much more subtle about flirting clues that men need to really pay attention. Ladies, men are not used to women flirting with them. An overwhelming majority of men said they would just love it if a woman would talk to them first or at least express a larger clue that you were interested in checking them out.
#1: Repeated contact...at least three separate verbal or non-verbal clues need to be given. Why? The first time he's going to look around and make sure it's really him that you are flirting with. The second, he knows it's him and he gets flushed and pleased. (At this point he'll probably walk by you and at least smile..he's checking you out a little more.) The third time you can express interest-by introducing yourself, or commenting on his tie, or waving from across the room. Now he knows you are open to meeting and it will be a cinch.
#2: Whisper...it always gets their attention. Ask them if you can tell them a secret...Then whisper in their ear: 'I just love your tie...can I buy it from you when you are done with it?'
#3: Don't sit with other women...men don't want you to reject them in front of an audience. If you do go out with a friend...separate every so often or take a breather from talking...men do not want to risk your disapproval by interrupting you. (You have already missed out on a lot of quality polite men who didn't want to interrupt.)
#4: Treat men gently...If someone you are not interested in approaches you and flirts ...be nice.... All the other men are watching to see what you do. If you laugh after he leaves or show visual disapproval, you are cutting your chances on anyone else approaching you. Try shaking his hand and saying something like: 'It was so nice of you to approach me...what's your name? Tom? Tom, I know how hard it is to meet people...I might have a girlfriend who would be interested in you.'
#5: IF he acts like a JERK! Be polite but firm. Hand him a copy of the men's version of 'Flirting with Greatness' and ask him to go practice on someone else. Firmly say that 'lines' with sexual overtones are not only not attractive to you but to most other women in the world.
#6: Use the Buddy system. Walk through a group of men and have someone watch to see who's checking you out.
#7: Become More Irresistible! Show a little leg....wear higher heels...the redder the lipstick the more available and noticeable you will be. Arch your back a little as you sit up tall and cross your legs high. Wear earrings that are interesting enough to make someone comment on them.
#8: Look over your shoulder...and smile at him. This asymmetrical position is always a signal you are interested.
#9: Give him a look all over from head to toe - nod with approval and then flash him your most winning smile.
#10: Remember that flirting is a way of connecting from the heart and acknowledging someone. Be generous! Have Fun!
