Why Masturbate??

The first and most obvious reason is that it feels damn good! If it weren’t for the ‘anal-retentive’, ‘holier-than-thou’ groups that condemn anything one does for sexual pleasure, we would be a far saner society. It is my opinion that whenever sexual tension and frustration build to a fever pitch, man is more likely to engage in violent and destructive behavior. Especially those who are living alone and don’t have sex regularly with a partner are more at risk. Sexual desire is one of the strongest urges man possesses.

I remember the warnings that the old-folks used to give to young boys as to the dangers of “self-abuse,” everything from hair growing on your palms to going hopelessly insane. Boys were often punished severely for fondling themselves. In a child’s mind, how can something that feels so good be so bad? Fortunately for me, my parents were not of that ilk and I was never made to feel that playing with myself, (in private) was anything shameful. During adolescence I must admit that I probably engaged in the practice of “jerking-off” nearly to excess as I often did it several times a day. However, I feel that the frequency one masturbates is up to the individual. I am 64 and still enjoy a daily session at close of the day to help bring on a restful sleep. My doctor also encourages masturbation as a good way for older men to keep their prostate healthy and reduce the risk of prostrate cancer.

I am also fond of ‘mutual-masturbation’ and when available, enjoy masturbating with a good friend. It is one of the most intimate and enjoyable acts two friends can share. And, it doesn’t mean that it is an exclusively “gay” act either. Two straight men can enjoy it together just as well. From the junior high locker room after gym class to the clubhouse locker room at the golf course, men check each other out when naked together. Penis comparing is a natural curiosity among men and boys. Enjoy each other without fear of being ridiculed and if the desire is there, enjoy masturbating together.

I am quite certain that there would be far fewer sex crimes in this country if masturbation were encouraged as soon as the sex urge developed in youngsters, both male and female. Being sexually satisfied is a good thing so whenever you feel that stirring in the groin and the circumstances warrant, take that tool out and give it a good whacking…you’ll feel great when that orgasm occurs and be all the healthier for it.

Who knows? Maybe someday people will be free of their uptightness concerning masturbation and we will even enjoy a “National-Masturbation Day”! How totally cool would that be?

First Time Anal Sex

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger inserted into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may find the insertion of a dildo, vibrator, or penis very arousing and stimulating. This section contains all the essential guidelines for enjoying anal intercourse.
Getting Started

Some people are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as they are scared that it will cause great amounts of pain, or the whole thought of it is grosses them out. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t try to force them, it will be a horrible experience for them (and ultimately for you) if they are not comfortable with the idea.

If you are trying to convince your partner to explore this world, using something as large as a penis is definitely not the way to get started. You should start by getting them comfortable being touched in the area, then move up to using a finger or two, and then, when ready, finally moving up to intercourse. Please refer to the anal play to please women or anal play to please men sections to learn more about anal play, using anal sex toys, and analingus. Until your partner is ready to receive, their anxieties will cause their anal sphincter to tighten, and trying to push through will be extremely painful, so be patient!

Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your penis or sex toy has been inside the rectum, don't put them inside anywhere else until you have washed them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to use copious amounts of a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.
The Largest Misconceptions of Anal Intercourse

Most people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. As with any form of intercourse, the anus, like the vagina, must become used to the activity. Any woman who remembers her first time having sex probably recalls a painful experience. In fact, the first couple of times were probably painful and not that enjoyable. Did they stop having sex? In almost all cases, they didn’t. Anal intercourse falls under the same guidelines for both genders; it takes practice to get accustomed to the activity. Pain is usually a sign that something is being performed incorrectly, not that the act is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few reasons: the receiver is too tense and tightening, the giver is pushing too hard, there isn’t enough lubricant, or that the penis or toy is still too big to put in (based on current experience levels). Using fingers and smaller toys is the best way to get used to the feeling, and it is advised that you increase size a little at a time. Once you have become comfortable with the idea and concepts you will probably find it very pleasurable.
The 5 Major Guidelines

1. Always use a lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the small amount of mucus a rectum produces is completely insufficient for anal intercourse. Therefore anal penetration should always be accompanied with an ample supply of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
2. Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. If your partner is too tense to experiment, all forms of anal penetration will cause a great deal of pain. We are not saying to stop trying completely, just don’t push yourself onto your partner, as this will only result in a bad experience for them, and make them less willing to try again.
3. Take it slow. When experimenting with anal sex for the first few times, go slow. There is no rush and if you take your time you will probably both enjoy the experience. There should not be a great deal of forcing required. If lubricated properly, an object should slide in somewhat easily. We recommend using your fingers ahead of time to loosen them up first for the first few times.
4. Sufficient desire alone does not guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Read the other four points.
5. Always communicate with your partner. As with any sexual activity, communication is essential. Talk about what you want to do, discuss beforehand your desires, tell your partner what you like and don't like while engaging in anal intercourse. Basically, be open about your preferences and feelings, and, be receptive to theirs.

Understanding the Anus and the Rectum

A minority of men and women respond with orgasms to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority through the sheer excitement of being penetrated anally. For men, an orgasm may be experienced because of pressure applied to the prostate gland. They are no doubt responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies.

The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces, but feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Small amounts may remain in the rectum. This is one of the reasons that it is recommended to use condoms during anal intercourse.

The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal that connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops towards the front of the body again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become temporarily irretrievable.

If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system (voluntary), which means you can tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (involuntary). The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the person is trying to relax.

Though it is always wise to practice the safest sex possible, this is especially true with anal intercourse. The lining of the rectum is very thin, and can rip if there is too much stress put on it. By wearing condoms, you can greatly reduce your and your partner’s chances of transmitting most STD’s.

Lasting Longer

One common goal amongst virtually all guys is to last longer during sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, most men can’t last as long as they would like and feel inadequate because of it. The first thing that needs to be understood is that the state of mind a person is in has a huge effect on their sexual performance. Getting all uptight and worried is going to do you no good; neither is having a partner that gets really angry about it. Both parties need to work together to improve the situation, and the most important thing is to stay positive.

The first principle behind the techniques and suggestions listed below is the man’s ability to know his own body. By understanding how his body works and how his excitement rises, he should be able to learn how to pace himself better. It is key to know when to slow down to allow your excitement to drop enough so that you can “re-group” and then pick up the pace again. The second principle has to do with decreasing the sensitivity of the penis. By decreasing the sensitivity, it will take more stimulation to achieve the excitement necessary for climax. The following techniques and suggestions should help boost his sexual stamina, but they are not miracle cures, it will take patience and the right attitude to make things better.

Start & Stop Technique

The primary principle of this technique is to stimulate the penis until near ejaculation, and then stop stimulating to allow the level of excitement to drop. This exercise can be performed alone, or with a partner, and should be repeated 3 to 5 times per session. After 2-6 weeks of using this technique you should notice an improvement in your sexual stamina and will eventually not even have to use it to outlast your partner.

Squeeze Technique

Right before you feel you are about to ejaculate, approximately three or four strokes away, stop stimulating and squeeze the base of your penis by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of the penis. This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response. Be sure to apply pressure a few strokes before ejaculating … if you wait too long, it may be too late! You should be able to apply this technique anywhere along the shaft of the penis, as long as it squeezes the urethra.

Regular Masturbation

A great method for boosting sexual stamina and releasing sexual tension is regular masturbation. By masturbating more often, you can train yourself to become more used to the stimulation. As you get more and more used to it, it should start taking you progressively longer to climax.

Wearing Condoms

Many couples have claimed that wearing condoms significantly reduces the stimulation of intercourse for both partners, but especially the male. If you are not already using condoms to protect against STD's and pregnancy, try wearing them to increase your stamina. If necessary, consider wearing a thicker condom, it should make a large difference in the amount of stimulation that you feel.

Sex Toys

Following the same line of logic as in “Regular Masturbation” above, you can use sex toys to help you become more “immune” to the pleasure. Sex simulators are recommended over regular vibrators, but both should work. The Robo Suck 2 is a great toy that can bring the best of men to their knees; it sucks, strokes, and vibrates all at once. If the $65 (USD) price tag is a little too much, have a look at our toy store to find a product that fits your budget better.

Hand Job Techniques

Hand jobs are a great way to pleasure your man. They can be used by themselves, or while performing oral sex on your partner. Below is a listing of hand job techniques, mostly gathered from alt.sex.faq. Although not necessary, it is better to perform these using a lubricant.

Pressure

With one hand, pull the shaft's skin toward the base and wrap the fingers of this hand around the base to act as a cock ring. Using the other hand, rhythmically pick various points along the shaft of the penis and squeeze opposite sides of the penile shaft at these points, releasing pressure either immediately or after only a brief period of time.

Fire

Rub the penis between both palms, as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of oil.

Glans Head Massage

Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-oiled palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the glans head. Reverse directions every once in a while.

Healing Stroke

With the penis resting on the man's stomach, take one hand and cup the testicles. Then glide the heel of the palm of the other hand up and down the underside of the penis.

Twist and Shout

Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. With the other hand, corkscrew the penis. This can be done with the thumb and first finger or with your entire grip.

Anvil Stroke

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top, all the way to the bottom. When you hit the bottom, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the top of the penis and repeat.

Bookends

Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down.

Doorknob

Turn the head of his penis like you're trying to open an oily doorknob. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. This stroke is sometimes improved by using the other hand to stretch the skin of the penis toward the base.

Double Whammy

Bring your well lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some penises are so big they require both hands; if your partner's doesn't, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his testicles, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft then move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands: one up, one down at the same time.

Milking

Start with one hand lightly grasping the bottom of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the bottom all the way to the top. When you hit the top, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the bottom of the penis and repeat.

Perpetual Penetration

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom, letting his penis "penetrate" into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous.

Ring

Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and pump up and down with it. When you get to the top close the ring. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.

Shaft

Stroke only his shaft, ignoring his glans head. You will notice his glans head swelling and turning red. When it's bright red, use Doorknob, Glans Head Massage, or Perpetual Penetration.

Shuttle Penis

Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding onto the loose skin of the shaft. Do this stroke for a while to allow tension to build.

Spot Pinch

Lightly and slowly run a finger up the underside of his penis. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch, squeeze, nibble and tease that spot.

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Short circuits

As it sounds, there are a few circuit breakers throughout the body that when pressed with enough force they manually prevent ejaculation. Learning to use them properly takes a little time, but once you are familiar, these can provide the ultimate emergency safeguard against any ejaculation before you are ready.

MILLION DOLLAR SPOT
A long time ago a Tantric Master named Lu the Immortal discovered a place on the body that when pressed with adequate force would manually delay ejaculation for as long as required. He ordered his disciples to guard this secret closely, and made them vow never to reveal it to any outsiders. The legend goes that around the turn of the twentieth century a wildly wealthy American, (who will go un-named) was on a journey in Western china, home of the disciples of the legendary Lu the Immortal. He had heard of their abilities, and sought to learn the ancient ways in order to improve a modern problem of his own.

Most of the masters he encountered were taken aback by his loud and abrasive mannerisms, and if they told him anything, they spoke only in intentionally vague and mystical language. In one of these sessions in particular, a younger master (and by younger I mean in his early 60's) was repeating through a translator the fable of the cobra. "While coiled, the cobra is quiet and poised. But when he strikes he becomes vulnerable." The American had simply had enough. In a wild outburst he exclaimed, "God, Damnit, isn't there just some spot I can push!" A very old and wise master who had been sitting in the corner of the room broke into a very uncharacteristic smile. This caught the American's attention.

In perfect English he spoke. "There is a spot, that if you push it, you can delay your ecstasy for as long as you wish." The American knew how to spot a bullshitter, but saw nothing but truth in the master's eyes. Intrigued, he asked in his most polite and beseeching voice. "Well where the hell is it..." The master replied, "I will tell you. for a million dollars." The American laughed, and then stared back into the long-beard's unflinching eyes. "Alright, I'll pay it." According to the story he did just that. In that place a great temple was built, and for the first time ever, Lu the Immortal's secret was revealed to the western world. The "million dollar spot" is in the area you might have heard called the 'grundle' or the 'taint', which is that strange stretch in between the scrotum and the anus.

The optimal pinpoint to push varies slightly from person to person, so start somewhere dead in the middle and adjust accordingly. Sufficient pressure on this area preceding ejaculation will prevent the semen from shooting up the vas-deferens, and will cause it to harmlessly return to the source, allowing you to continue lovemaking at your leisure. It is normal to feel your perineum contracting, just continue to apply the pressure until the contractions cease. It will have the sensation of orgasm, without the ejaculation, so you'll be able to keep going. And you thought that area was worthless.

ADVANCED TIP
Try sitting on a chair with a racquetball (or similar) pressing up against the spot. Have your lover straddle you and she is ready to ride all night long.

Rounding the bases

When it comes to pleasing a lover, intercourse is only the tip of the iceberg. A solid knowledge of everything leading up to the sex will lay the proper foundation and make you more of a complete and well-rounded lover. Just remember, every minute you spend in experienced foreplay will pay it's dividend three-fold when it comes time for intercourse. Also, if you want to take the pressure off your performance, it is never a bad idea to give your lover an orgasm before you even begin!

A good percentage of women prefer oral sex to intercourse, so shhh... no more talking, your tongue has work to do. Surprisingly, in an informal survey of women conducted by Legend's Gym, well over half of the men giving oral were categorized as "having no clue what they were doing." This was followed by the resounding challenge, "It's not that hard, its only one spot!" To which was replied, "Right, and which spot was that again?" For those of you who need that question answered, it's the clitoris (that little hooded thing resting on the top of the vagina). The number one complaint was that men seemed to be getting lost, and were wandering all around the vagina like children separated from their parents at the mall. 'Would the child of Cun E. Lingus please return to the Clitoris? Thank You.' Now that we got that straight, here's what you do when you get there...

THE KISS
Don't underestimate the power of a kiss.

THE SECRET OF THE UPPER LIP
There is a meridian, or energy channel, that runs from the upper lip of a woman's mouth, directly to her clitoris. It is called the "wisdom conch-like nerve" and if you caress it with your lips, and tease it with your teeth, it will subconsciously stir her excitement. Which will subconsciously get her aching to have sex with you.

Manual Stimulation

The percentage of women who can have an orgasm from intercourse alone is well under 30%. The problem simply being that there is not enough clitoral stimulation. That is why it is important to be able to take your ‘Manus’ which is Latin for 'hand', and simultaneously stimulate the clitoris concurrently with penetration. The motion for stimulation is generally a circular brushing of the clitoris. Depending on your position this is not always an easy thing to do. Practice different positions with your STU, and find which ones are suited for manual stimulation. You can combine this technique with any of the above routines, or any of your normal lovemaking rhythms. If you are gentle and smooth, 9 times out of 10, your efforts will be appreciated. For positions in which you are unable to reach the clitoris, try and help your lover feel comfortable about touching herself while you are inside her.